I have began to hide myself behind a wall of depression. My worries and things I think of and should worry me but don't have come crashing down on me. There's something wrong. Each time I open my mouth to express to another what's happening inside my heart and in my head the words shut off. The brain goes backwards and tells me not to say that, that its stupid and pointless to talk about these things. But if I don't let them out, change things and get help I don't know what will happen. There's something wrong with my mind. It's only half thinking. I'll have a thought about a detail then I will try to link it to something I remember then nothing comes up and the original thought goes blank and blurry. It's almost like on a computer if it has to many registry errors and they build up in the cache over time the computer will slow down. It's like my memories are broken links on a website. I hate being this person all the time. My emotions swinging back and forth, happy one minute then something that doesn't even matter happens then I'm ready to kill a man. I'm constantly looking for little escapes into my own mind to get away from my life so I can forget about myself.
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