Tug o War

Sometimes I'm not quite sure what to feel about my relationships with other people. There is definitely fear when I think about such things. My heart is filled with worry that when I shine a light on the things I could do without questioning that something in the darkness will reer its ugly face and I'll do nothing but wish I never shined my light in its direction. But is living in ignorance to the monsters in the shadows living at all? I've been taught to expose those monsters for what they are, face them head on and there will be nothing to be afraid of and in the case of my relationships with people even more so.

But there is something different in these cases because these so called monsters will sometimes become your close friends when you show them the light. All of us need to have a light shined on us. All of us need someone to look inside of us and show us that we are interesting, that was are loved and valued. That we arn't just forgotten about. When we are left in the dark for so long, when know one seeks what's deep down inside us thats when we ourselves become the little monsters in the shadows.

I understand these things but I am still afraid, not of the monster but that it is only sometimes that they become your friends. I avoid shining the light on some monsters because I know they are not yet ready for the light and that if I shine it on them too soon, they might just run away. But I love my monsters, they are always inside my heart and I care for them. I always want them near to me but there is a void between us that can't be removed until they are ready.

One of my dearest I fear is in the shadows, as are parts of me. I have shined that light on her before, but I don't think she seen in. There was no change, there was so response. It's like there was no light to begin with. But something did change. A distance grew and as time went by a silence also grew. Was she afraid of that light? Did she just respond differently from the others? In sted of running away, staying in place but burying herself deeper into the shadows so that my light can not reach her again?

I did not mean to offend, I did not mean to scare. I only wish to see you, to see your heart and your soul because I know it is very beautiful and I light up inside when I see such things. Do not hide yourself because there is nothing for you to hide yourself from. I am not here to harm you, I'm here to respect you, love you, admire you and smile. My beautiful little monster, let your heart shine in the darkness.