I feel this pressure at the front of my brain. Like pressing my face against glass.. Or clogged sinuses. I feel how I'm stuck and held back. How I'm still just a child. How I'm not responsible, how I can't make enough, how I can't be a father, how I can't be a man. How I can't fulfill my promises. How all my blame is an escape from the truth. How the place, my hell is my own design. How the time and the burden are my reluctance to move in life. My little obsessions.. my little falls...
I wish I was together, I wish I was smart and sharp. I wish I could get the job, I wish I could forge the body, forge the mind.. I wish I could buy the home, buy the car... I want it all for you. Who ever you are.. I can't secure it, I can't secure myself.
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