My Darkness

My need to be understood has finally over come me and inspired me to create a breakdown of what is my Darkness. For to long my trust in shadows and such has been looked upon and its true meaning not understood. Because of this I have been rejected, criticized, labeled. To understand my darkness you must first erase all knowledge and things learned from media about darkness, and shadows and about what lurks in the dark. Movies, books, religions, all these things have convinced you that the dark stands for that which is evil, That the ones lurking in the dark hide there to inflict harm upon you and your loved ones. None of these things are true. What is true is that those who do wish to inflict harm hide in the shadows to remain unseen and have ruined what the first thought of darkness is. Just as a school can have all the most skilled and intelligent teachers and state of the art learning equipment but as long as the students are reluctant to learn and do not pass the school will be looked down upon, not the students. The darkness is not evil, the darkness does not withhold secrets, and the darkness has never done anything to harm a soul. It is just a primal force, a thing like all other things on earth. Wind, fire, earth, light, darkness, all just forces and elements, none are evil, none or good. In my eyes there are no such things as evil or good. Only kindness and cruelty exist in this life.
                My Darkness… The one which I wish will one day become yours. The one that I wish will one day be understood by all. What I wish is that all things can be understood for their true meaning. That things will no longer be assumed to be know from what image they present.. My darkness is the silence between in notes in beautiful music, my darkness is the shadows that surround you at night to help you fall asleep. My darkness is the candles that create shadows the caress a romantic moments, my darkness is the sky that surrounds a beautiful full moon. My darkness is that which allows the moons light to be seen. My darkness is the calm feeling of walking in a park once the sun has fallen, the stars in the sky. My darkness is beauty, my darkness is love, my darkness is serenity. My darkness is when two dance slowly together and get lost in their passion for each other, the mind no longer is in reality but in a place deep within itself where things are made of thought and emotion. This is darkness for me, because when you turn out all the lights its no longer what you can see you have, its what you can feel.
                During times when I need deep thought or calm to sooth pain of life I turn out all the lights to allow the darkness in.. While in it my mind can travel within itself and exist in its world rather than the one my eyes perceive. I allow the minds power and emotions to rule over realities flesh and bone. What I call the darkness helps me, its acts as all the things that make life worth living. It is my peace, my mind, my soul and all things spiritual that you must feel inside your heart. Things that cannot be seen, they must be felt with things other than your skin.
 
Darkness is Love.

Blood Stain

The dirty sound, the horrible screech. Adrenaline pumping through my veins. The metal scratches against the concrete floor, the bass sends tremors through the brain. There's murder in the sound, these blood stained beats. The music of demons, the product of man.

Somewhere behind the sound, a shadow lurks. Where it comes from is unknown. Sometimes I wonder if the creatures of the music placed it there, to see if it would ever be found. I have seen the shadow, I have heard its movements between the beats, it knows I have.

The first drop of water, into an empty lake.

Today the snow begins to melt away. The snow has always been something I have loved and held close. Something that brings back childhood memories or simple happiness and joy. Memories that relate to times with my family, when they were also simple and joyful, atleast from a child's view. Sitting in a warm living room with tall white and cream walls. Fabrics covering the tops of windows to keep the clouds from drifting in. A fireplace made of white stone, like a burning Passion resting in strong beautiful foundation that anyone would envy. Then there it is, the green tower of heart warming soft lights and decorations. Orbs of glitter and serpents fabric seem to float around it. This is me, this is my child inside. Everyone's little Matthew... I break a tear at the thought of him. I'm still not sure why.

In passing days I have looked out my window to the trees, and when I do I wish to see green leaves and squirrels running about playing little squirrel games. The cute little hyper creatures that express so well what spring brings. Life, energy, growth. As I look to the trees through my window I wished for this but would only see blank skys and a white ground. The cold fluffy stuff that made me so happy I find myself wishing it away. Maybe I am wishing all the things this winter has brought will melt away along with the snow.

Love.. That one word could tell one million stories taller than a giant but as true as the earth you stand on all by its self. I have felt love, and I feel it now. I feel peace, and a sense of happiness as I escape to the world inside my heart. It's a beautiful place. I want everyone to see, I want everyone to experience its peace and love. There is so much there that could heal a persons heart and mind. But only those willing to look will see. Show me your love and the doors are open to you.