Hello

I wanna meet you,
I wanna meet you

I wanna meet you,
I wanna meet you
I need to meet you
I wanna meet you
Across the sky
Across the sky, high
Forever together lost in time.

There never was, a place in time
Not like this, this ones mine
I know when I open up
It's going to shine

I wanna meet you,
I gatta meet you
I wanna meet you,
I gatta meet you
Live it up, don't let it die
Where we live, across the sky
I swear I won't let it die

But I was lost, and you were too
This broken ship had no room for two
Wounded hearts, failed at coming home.
This toxic air, keeps us from being whole.

I wanna heal you
I wanna heal you
I wanna heal you
I wanna heal you

And wont you heal me too

James

For years I have spoken to myself in silence. Once or twice there was a heart who wanted to see what I had to say. But like a man on the road, I would pass them by. I wanted to stay, I tried to stay but they would go their own way without a care about what I had to say. For a time they did, till they didnt. For years I have spoken, in silence alone. Because for years this is all that I have known. No matter what it is I was shown, I swore this is all I have known. For years, I spoke to myself. I always worried what I was making of myself. For so long I wanted someone to love this self. For years I sat in silence, crying tears without a home. I couldnt ever say I was really alone. I always found myself in a home. With many others,many brothers. Maybe a family, but never happily. For years alone, I spoke into a phone. Never knowing when home would feel like home. Its all Ive ever known, speaking all alone. For years I imagine this my tome. Left behind, by a soul that was never known. I wish I knew, how to have a heart. I wish I knew so I would never feel so far apart. I wanted a touch, but I could never reach. Every sensation, the furthest destination. Illusive. I try to never lie, the one truth I keep untill I die. For years I hide, my heart stops... i wish it would stop.

Save me

I am no help right now
No matter my pain, matter what they say
I will save you
I made up my heart
A long time ago...
I made up my heart
Will I ever let go
Can I ever let go
I dont know
Not right now
Not when you might need me the most

Cracks

I feel this pressure at the front of my brain. Like pressing my face against glass.. Or clogged sinuses. I feel how I'm stuck and held back. How I'm still just a child. How I'm not responsible, how I can't make enough, how I can't be a father, how I can't be a man. How I can't fulfill my promises. How all my blame is an escape from the truth. How the place, my hell is my own design. How the time and the burden are my reluctance to move in life. My little obsessions.. my little falls...

I wish I was together, I wish I was smart and sharp. I wish I could get the job, I wish I could forge the body, forge the mind.. I wish I could buy the home, buy the car... I want it all for you. Who ever you are.. I can't secure it, I can't secure myself.

Blind

I had a question
You didn't want to answer..
I was so confused
Till you came closer
I seen one thing didnt mean another
I don't know when I'll make sense of this

I tare it all away so I could have this one day
Maybe one day to sail away
Far away to find this antidote
But you say please dont
I was better off anyways..
Oh ah, oh dont do it again
Your saying goodbye
Right when I need a friend
I didn't make a sound but it was all too loud
I said too many words because I was all too proud
My minds like a slate whipped clean
I still cant tell what anything means
Lost in the dark I scream for you
Lost in the dark where you are too
We were in the same place but I lost your face
So close I cant see, its not about pleasing
My heart and mind trying to find a new way to call whats mine a span of time and maybe this hopes a sign I can put behind what always reminds
Its empty, its dumb
This little mind stuck under a thumb
It stretches and skews
I trust, I do.
I always felt that it would be you.
Through the fear I kept you near
No one else could be my dear.
I'm tired of this song, I'm tired of this story.
I don't want to write it. I don't want to read it.
I'm praying I have the strength to make it real and breathe it.

I sat still, unable to move for what felt like forever. I had so many visions pass through my mind of all the futures that lay out before me. Even other peoples futures. Their hearts and my hearts. I thought about them all. I wondered about myself and my worth, I thought about if I could step up to the plate through my grand decisions. My thinking fell stale and cold. My heart stopped shaking and my tears did dry. I felt mindless and motionless. This was the least painful place but the most dead. The state I took without thought showed me something. I couldn't be making the right choice if uttering the words has frozen me.  I recount dozens of times I shook in my shoes trying to tell my parents I wished to play as a child with my lips sealed shut against my will. Some anxiety of the possible or likely denial of my desires. Here I am in the same state. The state I think I will move to is not my goal, honestly the place itself does not attract me. I am more scared of the emotions I will feel being so far away from anything I have known. I am afraid of my emotions and how they take me so strongly, how they steal me from being responsible. I told my close friend I was afraid because I felt my life now was my test and if passed, I could progress higher into life and take on more tasks and be a more accountable person who created things. Right now I feel that I am someone who does not produce but simply reflects and reacts. I have a body and mind that are often out of my control. My will is shaken easily by the whims of my heart and it's cries for love.

I have read and listened to my heart and have understood you are the path, you are the death of my inner child. You present to me the cruel and cold realities of life and how they fuse in motion with light and blissful love. I read once that is the expression of the pure female. You have always been the goddess trapped and suppressed.

My heart guided me to you and I wished to revive the child in your heart. I know now to protect my joy, to protect my innocence. I understand you more. I understand your state. I get what you lack you may attack me for. I feel strong in dedication. But I feel broken in dedication not matched. I wonder if I can ever escape a feeling like that. I wonder how many questions I have to ask before I'm ready to step into lights life unafraid and act as my spirit wills and watch my body and world follow suit with enough joy and innocence to enjoy the ups and downs of all the things that come to be.

Frozen

"I cried until my heart shattered. I couldn't say yes, I couldn't say no. With my mouth wide open and my breath held I watched the ship sail away feeling nothing."