Wednesday, July 27, 2016

This is my life. It belongs in my hands.
I don't want to be a part of this, or you.
I trust myself to do the right things.
I trust myself to have the heart when choices come that I need to use it.
I trust my mind to help me when I have work to do.
I trust my will to push me when I want to stop.
I trust my soul to carry my father when all else fails.
I trust my faith to bring me lessons I cannot learn from people and books.
I trust my eyes to see all there is to see.
I trust my ears to hear all there is to hear.
I trust myself with myself.
I love myself, I love you.
I love them, they all and we.
I love our history, how we made it here.
But I have hate.
Do I express hate?
Do I trust hate?
Am I right when I feel anger?
Can I follow two paths so stranger to eachother?
Is the path I walk in life not straight and not only one path?
Is this entanglement, two where one should be.
Or maybe infinite.
Can I be more than just one?
Life an aray of emotions and states.
Such a variety in who we are just as ourselves.
The right and wrongs are hard to define because the wrong display attributes of the right and the opposite is also true.
But a certain degree of prudence is always necessary for our growth, a certain selective eye for our qualities and traits. Chosen rationally seems mad and sadistic. Inhumane. But this prudence guided my emotion is like an order from God. Not to be ignored and no matter who it offends we must be write, our prudence is of divine source. Also why do I share these words? There has been time inbetween the moments where I could tell if I was a helpful word in the wind to help guide this emotional prudence in the hearts of others so we may collaberate similar selectiveness and breed a world that was guided by our emotions. The knowledge we select our truths from we based mostly on emotion, rarely on rational comparison. This is alright, because rational comparison is a science that exists only inside the artificial. Just like time or measurement of distance. These things seem absolute but when divided further and further, or multiplied as such they loose all meaning and ability to be measured. The results jump around and change. Nothing in this universe is set or solid. The whole system flows and is changing constantly on the deepest levels. Nothing is ever still. So why this need for change and improvement as a whole society? Why must we become smarter, stronger, more beautiful and more benevolent to one another? To me it's very clear but hard to convey. It's from an emotional stand point to improve our experiences. If we are smarter we can solve issues we couldn't imagine or perceive possible solutions for. A combination of our creativity, intellect, and intuition. If we are more beautiful we are more confident and are more able to relate to one another. We are able to more willingly grow deeper into our relationships which is the source of creative power in living things, complex relationships between living things. The relationship lasting a few minutes or decades can lead to birth. This is a complex relationship in itself as cells from the male and female body enter relationship and organize themselves in more and more complex patterns until the human emerges. The more complex our relations to one another the more complex our problems also become. The wiser we become we see simple solutions to complex social issues rather than just ecological or domestic in nature. Seeing solutions from the wise eye's view can be blocked or blinded by faulty or obsolete thinking. Complexity and efficiency compete in nature. The human mind has a habit of pushing complexity far beyond where our efficient organization of thoughts and or cells can keep up. No human walks this Earth without some form of neurosis or cancer, cell death, or aging happening in their body. The structure we are now as humans is a evolutionary development of cells forming more complex relationships. Right now I see that we as all people are reaching a precipice in our complex thinking and relationships where the cells and thoughts will rather than constantly expand and create new complexities will try and sort the materials and ideas to be organized into more efficient pathways to be taught and learned by the next generation so their minds and bodies can be freed from the weight of every generation before them asking too many questions they had no answers for. This cliff we stare over looks very deep. Deep enough that if you were to jump you would fall long enough to forget you were falling at all. This is an interesting analogy because it speaks of the state the new generations will find themselves in the age of organization and efficiency. They will decened into the amassed information of previous generations, machines sorting through history, information, experiances, reasoning, and emotions untill they have brixged the gaps between all theoties, sciences, histories and faiths to uncover the underlying patterns of life, development and growth in humans. At the end of this phase is when I see the forgetting of the sensation of falling. Answering every question there is to ask leaves a person in a state of limbo. Seemingly without purpose now that whatever deed that did need doing has been done. A bored and disinterested soul will crave choas. Choas can only exist when the conditions of the chpatic event are beyond control or being able to fully encompas the event. Choas is the return of growing complexity and the fascination with exploration of possibilities rather than their analyzation of the sake of efficiency.

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